Responding with an Open Heart

Last week I had the honor of training with one of the most widely revered Yoga Masters of modern day time. Rod Stryker, Yogarupa, has this amazing ability to hold space in a way so that his students see more deeply into themselves and the Universe that pervades all existence. A good teacher will show you the path so that you remember who you are. Yogarupa's talent of guiding me back home while, at the same time, showing me how I've gone astray reminds me of why I continue this journey of spiritual seek and find.

As our lives continue through joys and sorrows, our vision can get narrowed, making us more reactive and forgetful of the life that that is present RIGHT NOW. Very quickly we can enter into a state of mind where we forget the nature of our hearts, and instead get caught in thought loops that keep us trapped. Before last week's training, I was having a hard time refraining from getting caught in this trap of incessant thinking and worrying as life seemed to "get in the way". I knew on a spiritual level that it is all part of life. We can't dissect life into pieces we like and pieces we don't. Maybe everything is perfect just as it is and I was quickly reminded of this through his teachings.

I know...this is so much easier said than done, but our practice doesn't end when we leave the mat or the meditation cushion. The key is that when you are caught in incessant thinking and reactivity (the two go hand-in-hand), it's a nudge that it's time to pause and remember. By pausing, you remember. This practice of the spiritual seeker is just that...forgetting and then remembering. When we forget, we are reactive. When we remember (who we are), we soften and open up to love (acceptance).

Creating even a short 'coming home' ritual for yourself, something that works for YOU, is key to stopping the looping. What we practice grows stronger, so choosing how you respond instead of not choosing and reacting flexes your presence muscle. THEN, you can broaden your view and remember that we are all here doing the best we can with what we've been given. The choice is always there, REMEMBER LOVE and forget reacting, at least until the next time you do. :)

Love to you and yours,

Whitney

Hope through Anger

"...hope takes many forms: an open road, an unturned page, a map to another world, an ark, an infant, a long-lost glove that returns to its owner. Using metaphors for hope seems appropriate, as the concept of hope is difficult to describe. It is deeper than simple optimism, and more mysterious, delicate, and elusive. It is a feeling we must develop and cultivate, but like faith, it is also a state with which we are graced. Hope can foster determination and grit—the ability to bounce back and to remain determined despite failures and setbacks—when we make daily efforts to change and improve what we can control. "
-Joy Harjo

Can you see it? Can you feel it? A feeling that feels like "finally" and a congratulatory "we made it" encircles the air we breathe. Although Anger seems to have engulfed us with every tragic loss, every faulty declaration, division and outright discrimination, we now more fully appreciate the ray of Hope that it is peeking out from her hiding place. Hope, you have been there all along. You've felt far stretched and, at times, like we may never meet again. But here we are.

My friends, we have lived to see this beautiful day. Leaders representing Love and Understanding. Leaders with good intentions. Leaders that offer Hope through Anger. This mimics our daily lives. Whether you have experienced feelings of anger, frustration, irritation or stuckness within yourself and others, it feels relieving to know that Hope rests her sweet head on the other side. Let this fill you up when you feel empty and lifeless. Let Hope be your best friend when you feel you've run out options because just as much as we need to process through things, Hope reminds us that nothing in this life lasts forever.

Love you,

Whit

Sacred Pausing Gives You Wings

It's November and it feels like the usual "how did we get here so fast", but at the same time, this year has seemed to drag on. Caught somewhere in between trying to 'just be' and and 'make something of ourselves', it can be challenging trying to figure out which energy to follow. Many of us will be without family this holiday season and some are blessed (or cursed :) ) to be with more loved ones. Either way, we might experience of mixed bag of feelings surrounding the pandemic, the everlasting election and holiday stress and even sadness. Our duty to ourselves and each other is to get clear about what needs nurturing. This so called duty is a challenge in itself, but if mindful, takes only a bit of awareness and kindness.

You can feel it when the world is pulling on you. You can feel the urge to try and keep up, hurry up and don't dare mess up. As humans sometimes do, we become untethered from our hearts and seats and let this magnetic energy pull us this way and that and, before we know it, we are overwhelmed and on edge.
The good news is that bringing ourselves back to Center is both a practice and not at all rocket science. There are various ways to practice the art of Sacred Pausing. Try these with me...

Notice the in-betweens

Close your eyes and bring your attention to your beautiful breath. Begin to equalize the breath, same duration in and out. As your breath becomes smoother, bring your awareness to the spaces in between inhale and exhale, then in between exhale and inhale. After a few rounds, see if you can stretch out the spaces in between, retaining the breath for about half the duration of your in and out portions of the breath. Open your eyes and notice the shift. See? Not rocket science.

Be kind to yourself

When you're feeling a flood of super strong emotions, bring one or both hands to your heart and close your eyes. Hands on the heart instantly turns us inward and alerts the nervous system to rewind and settle down. Name whatever emotions are there as if you were the observer of your experience. "Angry", "sad", "not enough" "overwhelmed"... Keep that and as if you were speaking to a loved one, say, "It's OK, sweetheart". This is a phrase coined by Zen Master, Thich Nhat Hanh, and gives you direct access to self-compassion. Stay there...hand to heart, awareness of emotions and, "It's OK, sweetheart". After several rounds or more, open your eyes. Notice the shift.

These two practices serve as a sort of true refuge within. When it feels as if there is no where or noone to turn to, turn inward and practice this timeless art of giving yourself the gift of inner peace. As you slow down in this way, you are suspended and connected. It feels like home when you have felt miles away. You get to experience YOU and so does everyone else around you. And if you happen to be quarantining solo, you just found a better best friend in yourself.

So much love and light to you and yours,
Whitney

Staying Aligned During a Pandemic

If I'm being honest...

Some days I feel like I've been tossed out into rough waters only to be spit back out onto shore like a giant fish flopping about. On these days, it's all I can do to find my footing again to get back up and make my kid some mac and cheese for lunch or put my heart and Soul into my business or run a million errands or keep up with the state of our world and then, Ah.... I remember. I remember that I have this body, this breath, this beautiful Soul to remind me that I am Divine all by myself and also with you.

Yesterday I went to the grocery store and decided to go through the self check-out lane. Per usual, inside I can feel myself tensing and already practicing "go to your breath" as I know the automated lady from the checkout screen will bark at me incessantly to "place your items in the bag". BUT this time, I figured out how to mute the her voice and proceed more peacefully. I thought I had dodged the usual situation of leaving cursing under my breath when a message came up on the screen "Please Call Attendant: 32 items in basket". The attendant comes over and says in a gruff voice "it says you didn't check out everything in your basket". Her tone and demeanor put me on the defense immediately. I replied, "Well, would you like to check my basket"? "I'm just telling you what the computer says", she says rudely and walks away. Clearly I was the 'last straw' as the crime didn't fit the punishment.

My first reaction was to go to over to her and ask her why she was being so rude, but I do a drive-by with my cart first and change my approach. I go over to her and say, "I wasn't trying to be rude, I know you were just doing your job". She says, "People are just so mean right now and I don't understand it. See? I have tears in my eyes." We make eye contact and I see the ocean in her eyes spilling out and she's so exhausted. She looks like she has taken all she can take and I suddenly feel her pain. I want to hug her, but in the middle of a pandemic, I decide to reach for her arm. "You're doing a great job", I tell her. "I didn't mean to hurt your feelings." She reassures me that she understands with a nod. For a moment, we really saw each other in each other, like 2 mirrors reflecting back at each other. I walked away with an intense release of energy and tears streaming down my face. That, my friends, was Divine Order. To feel that Divine connection in a moment that we both needed more than we knew was priceless.

The truth is, I've been struggling to stay balanced and connected to 'myself' as the world, both in an immediate and global way, changes faster than I can process. (Safe to assume others have felt this same way.) However, I know that this is where the practice of coming 'home' to Divine guidance and wisdom comes in. This is where trusting in the concept that you can't do it all alone shows its beautiful face.

The Universe is organized to provide you with opportunities to wake up every single day. Joan Halifax has deemed these times "edge states", being called to our edges to learn how to have "strong backs, but soft fronts". This is about staying strong in your own two feet, but leaving the front tender and vulnerable to experience life, instead of close to it. I think this is the wisdom of the heart and mind coming together to foster wholeness and a rich aliveness within our lives. It's uncomfortable, it's messy and even heartbreaking, but this is where the light shines through the cracks. With that promise of hope, we can, simultaneously, find stillness and put one foot in front of the other to serve not only ourselves, but each other because at our core, we are all one and the same.

"Strong Backs. Soft Fronts."

xoxo,
Whitney

Cultivating Presence & Awakening to Your Journey

 

Our lives... constantly pulsing, changing and moving towards what most of us are afraid of... death. I know, I know most of you want to stop reading and run for the grassy knolls, but I urge you to read on. Michael Singer said it best in his book, The Untethered Soul, “No person or situation could ever teach you as much as death has to teach you. While someone could tell you that you are not your body, death shows you. While someone could remind you of the insignificance of the things that you cling to, death takes them all away in a second. While people can teach you that men and women of all races are equal and that there is no difference between the rich and the poor, death instantly makes us all the same.” 

So, there you have it. Why does it take bottoming-out for most of us to realize that connection to ourselves and others is what matters most? Last weekend I watched as my 9-year-old son was pummeled to the ground during a soccer tournament. He wasn’t moving. You could feel the silence, shock and awe move across the field in one fail swoop. It was as if everyone else stopped in time and I ran as fast as I could to his side. Thank goodness it was nothing more than a hard blow to the thigh, but it was amazing and, at the same time, beautiful that compassion took over competition. How quickly we were all reminded of what matters most, not winning but loving.

While these moments are teaching moments during our lifetimes, many of us tend to return to what I call “surface living” within minutes. So, how do we remain present so that we don’t miss the opportunity to love more, connect more and see more than meets the eye? I have a few ideas…

Death as Your Teacher

As Michael Singer’s quote above points out, death is our greatest teacher of all time. The majority of our society might shudder at the thought of even talking about death, but the great sages and yogis live their lives preparing for it. In this way, they embrace the reality that every Earthling will meet their fate at some point, so they choose to make the most out of what they are given. If you live as if you were going to die tomorrow, what would do? What would you choose to detach from, get rid of, change, manifest? How would you treat your loved ones, the cashier at the grocery store, the homeless woman on the street, YOURSELF? What are you waiting for?! 

Your Breath, Your Anchor

Sounds simple, but learning the power of your breath is one of the most profound tools you carry with you at all times. Think about it…every time you get frustrated or angry, what is one of the first ways you naturally relieve stress? You sigh, you huff, you take a deeper breath. As humans, using the breath to relieve stress is innate. However, if not aware, we choose not to use the breath to our greatest advantage. Next time you find yourself amidst chaos, try some conscious breathing. Slowly, breathe in for four counts, breathe out for four counts. If that works, try extending the breath for a beat or two. Breathing deeply while counting will bring your focus to present moment…the only place where life truly exists. Take several rounds until you feel your energy settle. Your body is the portal between Earth and sky. Your breath brings you more deeply into the moment, grounding you, returning you back home.

Mantra for Mindfulness

Learning the power to change your thoughts is invaluable when it comes to realizing the beauty in every moment. At every turn, you have the opportunity to see things in a new way and ground yourself in the here and now in a whole new way. Last week in class, we worked with the mantra “I am home” to tap into the feeling of presence and feeling safe within ourselves. Energy begets like energy. Once you practice with changing your thoughts, you begin to change your energy and get the most of where you are in space and time. Last week, I wrote about using affirmations to Awaken Sleeping Joy, and cultivation presence can be done in the same way. Your mind, your mood, your moment…all yours to enjoy though changing your self-talk.

So, what will you choose today? Light, love, and lessons through awareness or something that sucks all of the positive energy out of you making you miss what is right in front of you? It is that easy - to start with a choice. No one else can do it for you! Remind yourself that time is short, but you can actually extend time in any moment by bringing your presence to it. There is only one YOU in the world and one YOU that can make your life the absolute best it is supposed to be. Make no mistake about that.

Love, Whitney

Awakening Sleeping JOY

 

"I don't think of all the misery, but of the beauty that still remains." 
- Anne Frank, Diary of a Young Girl

Life can be tough, real tough. Life will turn and twist, flip and flop, and spit you out in every direction IF you let it. It is our duty and our birthright to AWAKEN and connect to our JOY which is where spirit rests sweetly within. JOY gives our lives purpose and meaning. However, when life sucks you up into an ever-spinning tornado of hurt, betrayal and heartache, it can be hard to figure out which way is up or down, and where JOY is patiently waiting to be given recognition. How do we awaken JOY within? How do we lift the veil and see the beauty that is ever present in this lifetime? The answers are more accessible than we think. 

Look Outward to See Inward

Sometimes we are given so much to deal with at once that finding and feeling JOY within seems hopeless. If this feels true for you, take a step back and observe your surroundings. JOY (beauty) is everywhere around you. Maybe it's a child's laughter; maybe it's seeing nature at work as the birds sing to communicate with each other; maybe it's the sun peaking through the clouds; or maybe it's learning to laugh at yourself for tripping over your kid’s legos in the hallway. Whatever it is, 'hook' onto it! There is also something to be said for learning to feel happy for others. For example, if you have been wishing for a partner for a long while, you might look at a couple and feel a sense of longing or envy. We have all felt jealousy and envy at times, but what if instead of giving into negative energy, you can view this couple with different eyes? It's almost as if you borrow their energy for a moment so you can begin to create some momentum in manifesting your own JOY. It's not always easy and it may not be a 'cure-all', but shifting your thoughts will begin to shift your energy in a different direction!

Thank You, Thank You, Thank You

Gratitude, oh gratitude! Funny how it's always right there waiting to be tapped into, but we can so easily forget. I like to think of Gratitude as Joy's partner. When we come from a place of lack in our lives, we are setting ourselves up for a downhill ride to not-enoughness, and that's a real tough space to reside. So, back to looking outward to see inward. Depending on the duels to which we have been challenged, sometimes the easiest place to start saying 'thank you' is by looking outward. Start small, start simple, but just make a start! Be grateful for the Sun that rises everyday It’s always there even if hidden behind the clouds. Be grateful for the Moon and stars above that light our way through the darkness. Be grateful for enough food and water to nourish you. And then, be so super grateful that you are here because as cliche as it is to say, you were put here to do great work! Why would Source, the Universe, God (whatever name you call Divine energy) waste its breath and energy to put you here for nothing? We all have something to contribute to this world and there is only one YOU on this entire planet. Now that is AWE-INSPIRING!

Affirm That You Already Are

I am a firm believer in The Law of Attraction. The energy that we put out is like a boomerang. If we practice mindfulness with tools like affirmations, we can, again, begin to create the energy we wish to hook on to. If things feel like a big ball of tangled up yarn right now, it's important to take some quiet time (meditation preferably) to discover what it is that would make you feel connected, clear and aligned with who you are. Then picking one or two words from your exploration, start with the words "I AM" and add on what I call your "intention word". For example, if you have been feeling 'less than' lately, maybe start with "I Am Confident" or "I Am Enough".

When creating your affirmation, it's important to remember that you can't get from point A to point Z very easily, so inch you way into where you want to land, where you intend to be and feel. In other words, if you are super depressed and want to be super happy, affirming "I Am Happy" is probably not going to work real well. By creating your affirmation, you are using your conscious mind to create a thought that will (with enough practice and charged energy) become ingrained in your subconscious mind, which will as a result become incorporated into your belief system. So, if the affirmation feels too off-base, try something like "I love the feeling of happiness" or "I am on my way to feeling great".

Another way to use  the power of affirmation is through repeating a mantra like "So Hum". When paired with meditation and simple breath work, this is a powerful way to disconnect the brain's default system of going straight to negative thoughts. "So Hum" can be translated as "That I Am" or "I Am That". "That" meaning Divine Energy that creates and supports all life. It's a way of realizing that we are all interconnected within this sacred, magnificent web guided by a force larger than we can even fathom. Practice either your own affirmation or the So Hum mantra with your breath. Slowly and mindfully inhale and (silently) repeat “So”. As you slowly exhale, silently repeat "Hum". The best part about this tool is that you can do this anywhere and anytime, and no one would know the difference. You create your own reality. Choose what you want that to be and own it!

On that note, I am so excited to unveil this first blog and reveal my website! My intention here is to connect, create and send out bookoos of love, compassion and gratitude for the opportunity to do something that truly feeds my soul. I hope it feeds yours as well. With that, I wish you well on this journey through life with its messes perfectly placed to allow you to integrate mind, body and spirit…a space of wholeness. Namaste and beyond.  

~Whitney